Saturday, November 29, 2008

Fishing in a Puddle

I have obviously been too imprudent with my time, as I have been watching movies, reading books, and playing, when I could be blogging. I felt guilty whenever I looked at the last post, knowing that a new post was past due. So here you are.

I have been wanting to mention a few things that I feel very strongly about that have come to my attention as of late. I don't want this post to sound to negative, so I'll say what I need to say, then move on.
It has been my experience that generally, people are honest, and good, but lately I have noticed that a lot of people are also shallow.
Why is it that some of the best people I know surprise me with comments that I find to be only skin-deep? Some comments are even completely inappropriate. I like to think that I am tolerant and forgiving when it comes to certain kinds of remarks about my appearance; honestly are those ever appropriate? I must vent out my frustration as I have been hurt by comments that have been made "only jokingly." (I apologize for the lack of detail, but I don't think it is necessary for me to even imply what kinds of things have been said.)

Really it comes down to this: women are not merely objects of beauty or pleasure, but are treated as if they were much too often. I do not wish to say that all men are superficial, hormone-driven beasts, because I only know a small number that I would actually put into that category, but I am disappointed to discover that even the kindest men I know will make degrading remarks about their female friends or acquaintances. In too many instances I have tolerated, and even laughed when a friend has commented on my appearance, apparently trying to "compliment" me, although I felt rather like a slab of meat than a person.  Even more heartbreaking to me is hearing my guy friends talk about other girls in such a manner that in that instance I could not understand how I could stand to be around such two-dimensional company.

Just the other night, I was cooking a meal at the boys' apartment next door, when I heard them making some pert remarks about a woman on television. I stood over the stove in silence, my roommate and I quietly fuming. We quickly left the apartment and to our neighbors ashamed surprise did not realize why until the only guy in the room that understood explained it to them. My roommate and I unenthusiastically accepted a couple of apologies, unfortunately expecting a similar incident to happen again. 

This disrespect for women must stop. I am tired of my friends or any girls for that matter feeling self-conscious because of the things that they have heard guys say. I have vowed to myself and my friends not to tolerate degrading remarks any longer. I realize that it is difficult for men (and women) not to have certain feelings or opinions, but they must also realize that everyone has a fragile self-esteem that can be greatly affected by even the smallest of remarks. I know that many women do their part to encourage this negative picture by wearing immodest clothing, or making remarks themselves, but there are those of us who try very hard to be respected. I am not asking to be treated like a man, just respected as a woman.

Listen to this song by John Lennon- it voices my pains.